tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post5351233965982074890..comments2024-01-02T06:39:28.476-06:00Comments on erica and christy-two moms. two teachers. two writers. one blog.: #6 sharing detail vs. information dumpingerica and christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13074820593371226159noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-35587946097422913552010-12-22T19:01:16.056-06:002010-12-22T19:01:16.056-06:00Ooh, I like the second one a lot! Good job! My f...Ooh, I like the second one a lot! Good job! My first few pages of my WIP were so much info dump in the beginning. I shaved a bunch off, and I still may need to tweek a little. Thanks for sharing!Abby Minardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11963640263845561309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-33276365596894364802010-12-22T18:40:33.874-06:002010-12-22T18:40:33.874-06:00I think this is something that happens to every be...I think this is something that happens to every beginning writer. Then you become rich and famous and a NY TIMES #1 BESTSELLER and you can write anything you want. :) <br /><br />Michael - Yes, kill the babies. It's the only way to go. (you should ask Anita sometime what I said about hers - luckily she's a really good sport!)<br />ericaerica and christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13074820593371226159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-57807602993366600772010-12-22T17:46:36.041-06:002010-12-22T17:46:36.041-06:00Very good point you make here. And your example is...Very good point you make here. And your example is great! Really illustrates the point.<br /><br />I love Hart's example too in the comments above. Shows how one small 'tell' sentence communicates so much to the reader. Beautiful simplicity, and no need for a whole laboured paragraph.Adina Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08860528131098237473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-77703975032569281272010-12-22T13:50:49.471-06:002010-12-22T13:50:49.471-06:00The old show don't tell and information dump. ...The old show don't tell and information dump. Love your example, it is so easy to remember everything that happens in the dialogue version.<br />I write in verse so I have to choose my words carefully anyway, but even so I am still guilty of telling rather than showing sometimes. Thanks for all those links!<br />Happy Christmas!Catherine Johnsonhttp://www.kangaroobee.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-77619081461379672692010-12-22T01:52:19.122-06:002010-12-22T01:52:19.122-06:00Ah yes. The information dump. I always have to be ...Ah yes. The information dump. I always have to be incredibly careful of it, since I want to share so much with the reader. <br /><br />Sigh. Edits are going to suck. :-)Misha Gerrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06364173848456424521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-4430117757851888312010-12-21T21:25:15.000-06:002010-12-21T21:25:15.000-06:00Pk Hrezo- Exactly. Sometimes I have a hard time th...Pk Hrezo- Exactly. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking as a reader when I'm writing, but I think I continue to improve over time. Keeping in mind that every mundane detail will only weigh down my plot and bore my readers will help!<br /><br />Michael-I still tend to overdo details and give too many step by step actions of my characters, but I notice them all on my own now. So I'm making gains! Lately if I send something to erica I've already pinpointed the problem so it's just for a second opinion of a short excerpt. I picked this one out on my own and she verified that it was indeed a dump. :0)Congrats to you, too for coming so far in your writing!<br /><br />Thanks, Heather! That visual is very helpful!<br /><br />Hart-great advice. Love the example! This will help me out for sure. <br /><br />christyerica and christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13074820593371226159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-43062057841702704032010-12-21T13:06:43.629-06:002010-12-21T13:06:43.629-06:00It's so tempting to share the whole character ...It's so tempting to share the whole character history with the reader, isn't it? My first drafts often have a fair amount, then I cut it out and paste it into a new doc and figure out what needs to go in and I spread THAT out... some in dialog--meet someone who needs to know something--some as a single sentence here or there to explain a tic. Contrast is another nice way. In the one I just finish, I have a character and a former friend interacting: "we'd been friends in middle school, until she got boobs and I got... academic..." that's paraphrasing, but in just a sentence it gives you a clear social tract for both girls.Hart Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17599570189253229318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-15089039774374033552010-12-21T10:58:15.043-06:002010-12-21T10:58:15.043-06:00Excellent fix on the paragraph dump part! That'...Excellent fix on the paragraph dump part! That's a great example of showing and not telling. I like to think of all we know and research as the tip of the iceberg. The reader doesn't see but a fraction of what we know.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05130733681254163610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-17809671606957960442010-12-21T08:45:00.136-06:002010-12-21T08:45:00.136-06:00I see Erica had you "murder" a huge sect...I see Erica had you "murder" a huge section. As PK said, your revised version does get the point across and the reader is intelligent enough to understand.<br /><br />This is a good post. All writers at one point or another have "dumped" on their readers. Mine was a landfill full of unnecessary words. Talk about dumping.lol Over the past year in editing I've learned how to economize my words.<br /><br />My current WIP is so tailored, I can't seem to increase my word count at an acceptable pace. It's taking me days just to write a few thousand words, which Erica knows is shocking. She always teased me that I was a bit too wordy.lol Switching genres is a totally new experience.<br /><br />MichaelMichael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804696485095159380.post-58674401344446201632010-12-21T06:50:27.945-06:002010-12-21T06:50:27.945-06:00Great points here. I think it goes with understand...Great points here. I think it goes with understanding your reader is intelligent and can make intuitive leaps and/or figure out for themselves without having to spell it out.PK HREZOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11650153097981426833noreply@blogger.com