Today's blog is the beginning of my novel...let me know if it grabs your attention or if you think I should go back to the "writing board"!
Seated, alone on a red sandy cliff, I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh scent of the nearby ocean. Faint melodies resonated, rising and falling with the breeze. I sighed, knowing I would soon wake up and have to leave this place. From behind me a deep, familiar voice spoke.
“This isn’t a dream, Dawn. I’ve brought you here purposefully, to lower my inhibitions, because to you this will seem like only a dream, one you may not even remember. But I had to try. I needed to find out if you felt it too…the connection there is between us.”
Seated by my side, he shook his head; his dark, shaggy hair looking even more mussed, making him even more attractive, if that was possible. He shrugged, “It’s not a dream. Please remember.”
His hand firmly clasped mine and his dark eyes pleaded. I tried to hang on, but his face became fuzzy, and then I slipped away.
Your lead made me wonder about the dark-haired, deep-voiced character. Who is he and what special abilities does he possess? What will happen between this character and Dawn? And that is the purpose of a lead...to draw in the reader. Leave the reader something to wonder about and give him/her a purpose for reading. You nailed it!
ReplyDeleteAnd now, for Fun Word Letdown...
"The inability to use the word macerate in a thriller exacerbated my exasperation.