How to Never Finish a Book

1. Become addicted to anything besides writing. The interwebs make this especially easy. So does deciding to catch up on past seasons of Sons of Anarchy any TV series you're behind on that looks remotely interesting and/or has hot guys in it.

2. Start a WIP that's full of voice. Make it mostly dialogue and add in lots of characters and then twist the plot several times to the point where you have no idea who half the people are or what they're doing. But it would make a really good movie, so keep thinking it over and delete parts and copy and paste. There's a chance you can use it later.

3. Delete your 1/2 done WIP and start over. Better yet, do this every time you get over 10,000 words.

4. Sign your kids up for every sport available. Make sure they're not located in the same town. Also, it's best if they're on at least 3 different days of the week.

5. Volunteer to be on committees and teach Sunday School.

6. Take on extra responsibilities at work. I recommend volunteering to teach regular ed. AND special ed. while also functioning as department manager.

7. Buy a 600+ page book to read. Better yet, make it a series of long books. Harry Potter, Twilight, and Clan of the Cave Bear would all be appropriate for this task.

8. It's best if your family and your in-laws live far apart so that you can maximize travel time during the holidays.

9. Work opposite shifts as your spouse so that you're always either at work or home alone with the kids (or entertaining your spouse for the one night a week you see each other).

And so, by following these simple tips, you too can never finish a book. Good luck!