today we continue on in our countdown of the best/worst things about being an aspiring author
#24: feeling like we're neglecting the other parts of our lives vs. finally taking the time to do something we've always wanted to do
it's tough "fitting writing in" to an already full and busy life. i'd thought about writing for a long time. well, thought about is rather strong. the inkling to write always lingered in the back of my mind. it wasn't until last fall that i sat down and started a novel.
what seemed like a full and busy life suddenly needed to squeeze in something new. something that took a lot of time and energy. i kind of became obsessed with the story and the characters and the new secret i kept. because it was WAY too embarrassing to tell anyone i was writing a novel in my "spare" time.
my kids are little. two and four. HUGE guilt accompanied my new need to write. for the first few months it went fine. they napped in the afternoon, and at the same time. phew. my house didn't get cleaned as much anymore, but it was a great quiet time to write.
then, my four year old stopped napping regularly. then i found online writing forums. then i started blogging (and emailing). then my husband didn't see my "writing time" as being so productive. then the guilt trips were no longer internal. they came from somewhere other than my own mind and conscience. so the guilt doubled.
at first, anyone i told (about my novel) thought it was amazing and wonderful that i was writing. now that it's been a whole year...um, they ignore it, figure i've dropped the "hobby" or wonder why it's not being sold in a book store yet.
i'm still enjoying myself. and i'm really happy i'm working toward a dream that i finally realized. BUT, i keep thinking that it'll take me writing and publishing a book before the time i spend writing and "talking" to all of you will be justified and accepted by anyone in my "real" life.
until then. i'll blog and write and critique and visit forums in the wee hours of the night/morning or when i'm "cooking" or "running". :0) i trust you'll keep my little secret?