Our Co-writing Journey (Part three of three): The Query

Well, here it is.  The moment you have (admit it, you have!) been waiting for.  OUR PITCH (not exactly a query because this isn't the version we're prepared to give to agents nor does it have the "business" side of things - comps, etc.):

All seventeen-year-old Nea wanted was for her lazy slob of a younger brother, Derek, to leave her alone, but she didn't mean forever. Now he's missing with only a text message as a lead to his whereabouts. Now she’s committed to finding him. Known for stealing the spotlight, nobody believes she's received even that one clue. As a last resort, she enlists the help of Derek’s quirky best friend, Goon, who is the only one who hasn't turned his back on her. 

Corrupt cops and agents of all types swarm the teens to find out what they know and to steal the evidence they rack up. White vans with the license plate VIPER show up all over town. Derek texts that there is no sign of life in the bubble of land he’s trapped in. All signs point to a government cover up and a man-made world that seems to have swallowed Derek up. Nea and Goon follow the texts, blog comments, and occasional voice contacts Derek is able to send in order to figure out where he’s been entrapped. 

But when the time comes to rescue him or lose him forever, the way they choose to save him is blocked by adults involved in the corruption. Nea finds they can waste time sifting through who to trust, or find an entirely new way to Derek. The two split up and act fast because time in Derek's new world is ticking down to his last few seconds.

THE TEXT MESSAGE, a young adult lite-science fiction/mystery novel of 44,000 words, is an account of an abduction told from two points of view: the abducted and the sister he left behind.

(To see the previous parts of our journey, go here to learn about Christy's view and here to learn about Erica's.)

SO - we have a few things for our blog-world friends. First, like we said above, this isn't our final query. It would be awesome if you'd let us know what works/doesn't work for you in the comments, though! (and yes, we know lite-sci-fi-mystery isn't a REAL genre. we're working on it).

Second, we're looking for critique partners.

Well, not just looking for. We NEED critique partners. We just might need YOU. Leave a quick comment if you're interested (like, "hey, send me 30 pages" or, you know, "I MUST READ THIS SEND IT NOW" and it will go to each of our emails. you'll likely get a response in 4.2 seconds. maybe even 2 responses. ;) We PROMISE we'll reciprocate!!

Third, if there's anything you'd like to know about our co-blogging/co-writing journey, we'd be happy to share.

Lastly, thanks for sticking with us through this process (and all along). We love you all!


  1. Alright, you win:) If you still need CP's I can take a look for you. I am also a co-author so I know a little about the give and take of the relationship and how much work it takes to make sure the voices are seamless.


  2. This is a fun query! Right away though I want to know more about Goon and some hints of how the Nea-Goon team might be unique! Capitalize on your characters and less on the plot. All you really need to share in a query about the plot is the hook, conflict and the stakes. Maybe less about the government and "man-made world" just confused me. I liked the line about the vans with the VIPER license plate!

  3. Hi, ladies..... SURPRISE!

    It's been WAY TOO LONG! I see you two have been quite busy. I really like the premise of you new novel Great character names. I kind of agree with Margo.

    I hope all is well with both of you. I'll try and drop you an email when I get a free moment.


  4. Hmmm... I could do some critting, but I'd need to do a test run of 3 chapters before committing to more, so let me know if you're interested. :-)


    Seriously. I am totally up for it if you are. Abductions, corrupt cops, a trail of text messages and blog comments — it has it all! I know I am basically the WORST blog stalker ever (because I lurk! I lurk! what is wrong with me?) but yes. I am a pretty good reader, yo. If you send me 30 pages I will be all over them like the cat's meow.


  6. The premise is definitely interesting. I know you mentioned mystery but by the time I was done reading? I was thinking "thriller" too.
    Good luck with revision.


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