AAAANNNNDDDDD...it's that time of year again!

AAAANNNNDDDDD...it's that time of year again!  We're teachers and we're doing last minute grading and report carding.  The end of the school year always means one more thing for me as well:  PACKING.  Every year brings a new school, a new classroom, and a new grade.  So into boxes goes all of my "stuff".

What are you up to, and how do you grade yourself on all of your responsibilities lately?

the power of green and gold

as wisconsinites, we are so proud.



even my husband, who usually doesn't get into my television shows, was a freak about watching, and voting for, DONALD DRIVER, GREEN BAY PACKER WIDE RECEIVER dance.

AND WIN!!!

as we bit our nails waiting for the final results, my husband beat himself up about not calling in to vote on monday night.  i told him, "you know, if he doesn't win, it's on your shoulders."  he didn't look away from the tv.  he didn't flinch.  "i know," he said, as serious as could be.

aye aye aye.

we may not have gotten this last year,



but we now we have this.

cowbells, hand sanitizer and roller coasters

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in elementary school, i was always the last to finish the mile run.

in middle school, i ran on my own (for "fun", and to stay slim), but was still pretty slow.

in high school, i ran once in a while, on my own, and continued my pokey pace. 

in college, i forced myself to jog once in a while (to work off the beer i drank).  (especially during the months i studied abroad in england.)

after having my first child, i trained for my first half marathon to lose the baby weight.  and then another after my second child.  plus a full marathon in between having my second and my third.

over the years, got my pace down to about 8 and a half minute miles.  awesome for me, considering i ran 11 minute miles after my first child was born.

and yesterday i ran in a half marathon (the cellcom in green bay, wisconsin) to lose my third pregnancy's weight. 

(i still have 6-8 pounds to go and a bunch of flab to tighten up.  anyone know how to do that? p90x? 
yeah, yeah, yeah...but i'd rather do something that takes less than 1 1/2 hours per day!)

yesterday was hot, hot, hot.  i didn't train the way i needed to, and was a bit panicked about how i'd do.  luckily, i did a lot better than i thought i'd do. (not just time-wise, but with less pain (until i got out of bed this morning--yow!), less panic, and i enjoyed it.) i expected my time to be between 10 1/2 minute and 11 minute miles, but ran at a 10:04 minute pace.  i finished in 2 hours, 14 minutes.

ten minutes after i crossed the finish line, they CANCELLED the marathon due to extreme heat.

temps were in the upper 80s and many runners had collapsed on the side of the road.  apparently hospitals ran out of ambulances.  the two hospitals in the area were full of runners.  ambulances were running 25 mintues behind, meaning if one was needed, they wouldn't respond until well after the call came in.

the race was well organized, and had planned for the forecasted hot weather.  water and gatorade stations were well staffed and full of fluid.  cups of ice were offered, as were packets of goo, oranges and bananas.  many families in the neighborhoods on the route put up sprinklers for us (i was incredibly grateful). 

but it was still just too hot for many.

before the drama of heavy heat hit, i stood at the start line with a friend. in the minutes before the starting gun was fired, we shared inspirational quotes we'd heard:  "pain is temporary.  pride lasts forever."  "pain is weakness leaving your body."  and of course, some of our favorites from past races (oh, the memories...):

once,  after using an icky porta potty--one without hand sanitizer--i ran the rest of the race hoping to see my husband, and hoping he had some on him.  you know, something all husbands toting two small boys should carry.  when i saw him, he didn't. (my friends were pretty sick of me griping about my germy hands by the time we crossed the finish line.)


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during that same race, my one friend fell in love with all the cowbells we heard along the way.  she kept yelling, "more cowbell!" at everyone.  little did we know this was already an actual saying and funny clip.  view it here for a laugh.

the other friend commented, after going up hills and down hills and around corners, "this route is like a roller coaster for my feet!"

well, after that, we decided we should get t-shirts made with our running sayings. (i was ecstatic that mine would showcase what a germ-freak i was....(not!))

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the best sayings i found yesterday were from some of the signs people held up for the runners: 

"pain now, beer later."

"my husband is quick. isn't that what you wanted me to say, hun?"

"i'm proud of you, perfect stranger."

"if brittany spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through this race."

heroic runners from yesterday: the older men behind us today were chatting about how they came in to wisconsin just for the cellcom because they'd been in a different state, doing a different marathon (full) the day before.  they were doing the 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days. (wowza!)

heated emotions:  while i would have chosen to quit at the half mara point, even if i'd signed up for the full (due to the heavy heat), i know that my body was handling the heat better than others.

i feel for the runners who'd trained hard and were ready to run it through to the end, regardless of the heat. 
i feel for the runners who came to wisconsin just for the race, especially those with lofty goals (like the two gentlemen i mentioned) who may have had to let go of those goals due to the heat and the decision the marathon officials made. 
(don't get me wrong, i think the officials made the right call.)
safety first. 
i also feel for all those who collapsed and were hospitalized.  and for those attending to their medical needs. 
whew. 
it takes a lot of great people to put on a marathon!

while i ran with my friend for about two miles today, the rest of the time i was on my own.
my first solo race!
it was my first half marthon by myself. 
i was readier than i thought. i did better than i expected.  and i enjoyed running by myself when i thought i'd freak out and panic. 
i bought new earbuds for the race, and even though i accidentally bought the ones that were $40 and not $20, they were worth it! 
me and music made it through.

i missed my dad. 
due to a recenty hip replacement, he wasn't able to come to cheer me on.  while  he wasn't there physically, i knew he was there in spirit.   he was the one who got me running in the first place, and he was my first running partner.  we ran our last half marathon together in 2009.

just before his surgery, doctors commented how bad his hip was due to arthriti,s and they couldn't believe he ran marathons with how deteriorated it was--especially since his x-rays in 2008 looked atrocious, yet he was running into last year! 

i can't imagine the pain he went through to keep running the past four years, and to run those races with me.  i know i will always, always think of him when i run, and a part of me will run for as long as i can for him.  those training runs and races we did together will always be dear memories for me.

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so, nope. the heat didn't affect me at all.  except maybe the four or five times i swore i saw brett favre on the sidewalk clapping for the runners....

oh, and i leave you with this cool thing:  if you run races, you can go to www.athlinks.com and type in your name and find all offical races you've been in along with your offical times.  very cool.  i'd lost track of what i'd run, and now i can find those races and the results so i can look back at my progress over the years!

off to get a colder ice pack!

when rejection gets you down...

rejection comes in many forms:

a rude comment,
a nasty look,
a shared murmer a midst a group
                    that you are  not a part of,
a polite, impersonal letter
                    or email
not being given a second chance
                     and the opportunity
                                  to improve,

but at least these are private wounds
                     that only one or few know about.

then we can escape, wallow, and lick our cuts and scrapes alone and move on without wondering who's watching, who noticed, and without trying to prove ourselves to anyone who cares to judge, criticize, and, sadly, watch us fail again.

as aspiring authors (for my unagented, unpublished friends), we are not only preparing our writing for better sentences, better story lines, and better characters, we are also in preparation of receiving, digesting, and bearing public rejection.

reviews....
moving past a hugely populated crowd of eyes can be much tougher, so therefore, we must be tougher as well.

however, whether it's private or public scrutiny, we must take it in, let it become part of us, toughen us up, and move on from it.  BUT we can't let it harden us into stone. we should only become hard enough that we can learn from it, and become that BETTER we are striving for.  we can't be so rigid that we can't change and grow.

when rejected, time after time, we must put aside whatever fear we have of improving, and of trying again.  we, first and foremost, have to hold the belief that we can do better, that we deserve the chance to fail again and the opportunity to become that better self, better teacher, better mother, better neighbor, better writer.

take time to learn the graceful way to accept rejection.

take the time to learn how to hold the rock of rejection in the palm of your hand for a few seconds, to feel its cold, hard edges, before crushing it into grains of sand.  take the time to read each grain, to figure out the why of them, the pain of them as they flow through your fingers.

take the time to heal.

take the time to walk over them and past them.

take the time to enjoy:

smiles,
pats on the back,
handshakes,
congratulatory letters
                         and emails,
raving reviews,

even though pebbles, rocks and boulders may rain down on you again a time or two.

be graceful.
be better.
be deserving.
be you.
because you want to and because you can.

you can do it.
i believe in me, and i believe in you.

do you?

The Cover Heard 'Round the World

So, I'm sure most of you saw last week's Time Magazine cover photo of the mom breastfeeding her almost-4-year-old child.

I'm not going to talk about that.

Instead, I want to talk a little about the caption next to the picture. It screamed out in giant letters:

ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH?

My first thought was "Oh no, they didn't!" My second thought was "Holy crap, they did."

What, exactly, does "enough" mean? It means something different to everyone and at the same time, it means nothing. Consider these statements:

1. Anyone who's bullied on the playground isn't cool enough.

2. The kid who got a C on his project didn't try hard enough.

3. The boy picked last (or second, for that matter) for kickball team isn't athletic enough.

4. The girl who was raped didn't fight hard enough.

5. If you don't write a chapter a day, you aren't enough of a real writer to make it.

6. When you want a moment alone, you don't love your family enough.

7. People living in poverty aren't smart enough.

Am I Mom enough? Woman enough? Wife enough? Teacher enough? Athletic enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough?

Yes. No. Maybe?

See what I mean? Any question that includes the word enough is impossible to answer. Only one thing about TCHRtW really pissed me off and it was that. What about you?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH