5.07.2012

Love vs. Hate vs. Flab

I, Erica, do not exercise. Every once in awhile I do a few miles on the treadmill or maybe 50 30 25 situps or *cough* part-of *cough* Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred (God, I hate that woman) and then I talk about it for the next several weeks as if I exercised yesterday. (and if you don't have time to read this whole thing, do yourself a favor and skip forward to my last link of a YouTube video you don't want to miss)

But this week I really did exercise! I'm so proud of myself! My time to distance ratios are laughable to hard-core exercisers like Christy (who's in a half-marathon next week only 4.5 months after giving birth!), but I did it! Yesterday I even went on my treadmill (apparently we had summer back in March here in WI and are having spring now - it hasn't stopped raining for like 6 days) for an hour and a half!! And I wrote two chapters this weekend! YAY ME!!!

The whole time on the treadmill, I imagined myself looking like this:



When I probably looked more like this:




And seriously, people. What is it with Google Images that I type in "sweaty woman running on a treadmill" and I get this as a hit:


Or this:



This is the moment I beg of you not to type in "fat women exercising" to Google Images unless you're truly prepared. Let's just say it simultaneously inspired me (the ones who were exercising) and disgusted me (the ones who thought it would be fun to take and post pictures of their, um, various areas of perspiration...).

If you've stuck with me this far, you get to know how long and far I went. 91:47 and 5.35 miles (including warm-up and cool-down). Not bad for a non-exerciser who turns 37 years young next month, if I do say so myself (and I do). Yes, I'll give an update when I'm proud enough to say I'm an actual, real EXERCISER and get that dang time:distance ration down!

This is what I watched while I walked. I'm now not only more physically fit, but way more worldly. Watch it, you'll be so happy you did!! (disclaimer: there's a graphic death of a cow around minute 60. If you're squeamish or a staunch vegetarian/vegan, you may want to fast-forward a bit when you see the white cow in the stall. Even though I'm married to a beef farmer, I prefer not to think about that part of the process. myself) (btw, I've also heard you can rent this video on netflix):


What have you done to change your life for the better today?
If your answer is "nothing", you really need to watch the last minute of this documentary!
  

6 comments:

  1. you've done so much better than me lately. YOU should do my half-marathon for me. i'm a bit nervous. but i did run 5.5 miles (ahem, in 60 minutes) yesterday. i've regressed 6 years in terms of speed, and have yet to do the full 10 miler i need to in order to be "ready", but two weeks from now, ready or not, i'll be doing 13.1.... christy

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  2. I'll say Wow! That was an awesome exercise session. I've got to get out and walk more. And I'm starting to stand while I read blogs. Because I'm picking up too much weight with all this sitting.

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  3. I used to work in fitness centers and I'm happy to report we didn't hire any underarm sniffers. That's one job I wouldn't want. Though with some people, I could tell they had workout hard while I was standing several feet away. :P

    The poor guy. It looks like the wall is falling.

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  4. That is totally what I look like on a treadmill.

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  5. I've been trying to exercise lately, too. Being writers is not very conducive to getting fit. Try to find that balance...

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  6. This gave me my first chuckle of the day. Thanks for that! Since gaining 4 pounds in France last week, I've been doing yoga every day (okay, that's 2 days so far), and feeling rather ungraceful. It's too bad that Butt In Chair also leads to Fat Butt Syndrome.

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