9.06.2011

first campaign challenge: flash fiction entry

FIRST CAMPAIGN CHALLENGE (click to find links to all other entries and to vote under each entrants linky pic.  i'm number 210.)

The challenge:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)


For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

It's a challenge for me any time I actually write anything under the alotted number.  So, I'm pretty snapping proud to tell you I did this in 199 words. 

(This is my second or third attempt at flash fiction-ever.  I kinda wish someone would crit it for me before I post it.  Shouldn't I revise/edit and rewrite something several dozen times before publishing it?  Okay, I'm kidding.  This is what happens when one is in the editing stage, apparently.)

The door swung open. I crouched below the desk, pushed my back against its wood, and held my breath. Dim light angled through the blinds, barely enough for any human to spot me with. Only a rolling chair stood between me and the feet that had stepped into the room. Men’s shoes, black and squeaky, covered the feet. A beam of light swung through the air. I inched back further, setting the thick envelope on the floor so as not to crinkle the paper.


Annoyance swept over me. Seriously? Paper files? How was this business so successful without being technologically advanced? Had I been able to use my zip drive, I’d have finished this job hours ago. Instead, I was late for my date with Luc.


The chair rolled away and the flashlight’s beam blinded me.


“What’s this?” The suited man knelt beside me and grabbed the envelope with a gloved hand.


Damn! Meshing my skin and clothing saved my tailfin, but now I’d lost the files. He stood and swung the flashlight around the room before plodding away. I relaxed and let the wood tones fade from my scales before camouflaging them with skin. The door swung shut.

I created the character in this story for a crusader/campaigner challenge this past spring (read it here).  Someday she may be the character in a sci fi novel I'd like to write.  So, for as many challenges as I can, I'll use her and the ideas I have in my head for her novel.)

17 comments:

  1. Cool character! I'm off to go "like" this!

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  2. what is in the files...inquiring minds want to know :)!

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  3. The files contain the phone number and email to Maggie Q. Hey, I'm a guy who watches NIKITA (new version.) LOL

    Great job of drawing the reader and making us root for the thief. Have a great mid-week, Roland

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  4. I want to hear more from this character! Nice job! :)

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  5. Wow, I love the fantasy spin on this!

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  6. This piece prompts lots of questions! What else can the character do? What's in the files? Who was the man? ... Interesting! :D

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  7. So fun! I read the original too and now I want more pages!! :)

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  8. Ooh, what an interesting character! I was like, "Tailfin? Scales? Hang on... Definitely not human!" I'd like to read all the other ideas associated with this character (and Luc!).

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  9. Christy - I know what a great writer and editor you are. 200 words - some of which are dictated by the contest - are not great indicators of that. Keep working, keep believing, keep writing. I believe in you!
    erica

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  10. Entertainment in 200 words - love it! And meshing skin? So gotta get me some of that! :) Great character - can't wait to see what else you weave with her in it.

    BTW: Not sure if you knew this already - but the link you have posted on Rachel's site, is flunking to a spam site ("you're a winner!") - might be why you haven't received too many comments! I did just click the like button - and at least that took! Good thing I know how to find you ladies... :) You might wanna go add yourself again to her list?

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  11. Ooo, I am very intrigued! Great job!

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  12. Loved this. Very intriguing and would keep me reading. I want to know more!

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  13. Okay, you have to make more with this character and technology, because I'm hooked. ;)

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  14. Nice voice! Very personable. Great job. :)

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  15. Ohh.. meshing skin and a tailfin? I need to know more about this character! Thank you for sharing this with up. And for what it's worth--I think you did a great job on this, editor or not!

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  16. Thanks for sharing, that was a fun flash. I was wondering, more than what was in the files, why she was there looking for them - if it was a job for herself or being paid by someone else. The camoflage bit was cool.

    I'm in your Campaigner group for MG/YA, so it's nice to meet you and I expect we'll be seeing each other more down the campaign trail.

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